Don't you send me to vm
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
