Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
