You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
