You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
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