2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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