The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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