i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
