I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
