I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
my being single is dangerous.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
