you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
