as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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