What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
