Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
