How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
