I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
