I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
