Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
