In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
