remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
