Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
