The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
True college students do jello shots in the library
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