Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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