his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I think my nap took me to another dimension
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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