so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
handjob tips. give me some.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
