Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
