I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
