john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
