I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
whose ass print is on the piano?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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