Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize