at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
