If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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