I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
