I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
did i just pee glitter
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
