YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
