these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
