threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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