nut hugger
Are we in a gay sports bar?
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Im part way to drunk.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
