You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
