Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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