people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
