Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
