Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I love you. Go after that dick
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize