the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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