If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
