Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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