you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Gay?
German.
Pity.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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