My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
