sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
