I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize