I'm really into asian looking animals
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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