Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
