I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
