im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
