I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
