just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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