Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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