I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize