and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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