you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
