if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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