I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
