I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
as a side note pls kill me
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
