I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize