I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
