But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
