Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
