My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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