Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
