Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
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