i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
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