is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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