Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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