We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
