Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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